The Simple Joy of Committing to Less

More is not always better. More may cause you to lose sight of yourself, drowning in a crowded sea of commitments and responsibilities of your own doing.

In our crazy busy society of being stretched thin, commitments left and right, double or triple booking ourselves, and wishing we could just have a couple of clones to do everything and be everywhere we can’t be, the desire to enjoy life simply is more needed than ever.

Why else do you see spas, massage centers, yoga studios, and beach vacationing more prevalent than ever before?

It’s due to an innate desire within all of us to wind down, to relax, to take things one at a time, to re-focus and re-balance our wacked out and crazy lives.

How can you begin to learn to commit to less and to enjoy life more?

Examine these following 5 areas where you may spend the vast majority of your time on and re-evaluate your priorities:

1. Social Networking

Are you on every possible social networking site there is? There are always going to be new sites as technology and movements inevitably change and evolve. But there is no need to create a new account for every social networking site out there.

Realize that every site you’re on is a part of your life you’re giving away and that you’ll never get back (this applies to more than just websites but to people, projects, and commitments as well). Better make sure it’s a worthwhile effort!

Delete the accounts to sites you hardly ever go on, don’t particularly like, don’t connect with the community, and that which do not add value to your life.

What is left are the top 1, 2, or 3 sites you really enjoy being on and can create positive connections in your life.

Right now, I am only on and . I may add another one in the future but for now, these 2 sites work best for me and my purposes.

Find what works for you best; delete the rest.

2. Blogs

There are millions of blogs online, many with wonderful and insightful content, and many more still with horribly written or terrible content. (I hope my blog falls in the former category! But only you can determine that for yourself if you find what I write to be useful and helpful to you.)

If you discover you spend the majority of your online reading time on your top 3 to 5 blogs that you really enjoy, what does that tell you about the rest of the blogs you’ve been reading all along?

We already spend way too much time online, more so now than TV. The new generation may hardly even watch TV, preferring instead to watch episodes or videos online while chatting away and Tweeting all simultaneously.

Our time is very limited. Choose what you read online wisely. If you don’t like what you read and you don’t connect with the content that is written, don’t go back to it (my site included). Unsubscribe. Don’t feel bad. Just because the blog may not be useful to you doesn’t make it less useful to someone else.

3. “Commitments” or Obligations

Just because your wife’s second cousin’s husband’s brother is getting married, doesn’t mean you have to go to it. Immediate and close family obligations is one thing, very distant “related” people you’ve never even met are another.

I know one person who has a large Italian family and so does his wife. It seems that every other weekend there’s a wedding, a shower, a birthday, or an anniversary party to go to. Never mind it’s with people either he doesn’t know or his wife doesn’t know or both. It’s obligatory. What’s also obligatory is the time and money spent on such events.

Money you can always earn back. Time you cannot.

Choose wisely what you are giving yourself away to. It’s okay to say no! I do this all the time, not in a mean way but in a kind manner. Saying no to a so-called obligation does not mean you are necessarily saying no to the person (see #5 for that).

4. Projects That Don’t Add Value to Your Life

Stop doing something you’ve already lost interest in but continually do just because it’s become routine. If that means quitting your book club, then do it. If that means quitting that voluntary work committee you’re on, do it.

Golden rule: If it doesn’t add positive value to your life, rid yourself of it.

The time and energy you save from those lackluster projects can now be channeled towards projects you find superbly meaningful to you. You’re better off and so is the project.

5. People aka Vampires

I refer to people who waste your time and especially who are negative as “vampires.” It’s just an easy description of the type of people they are, whether or not they mean to be.

Spending time with people requires much energy on your part.

Have you ever noticed the feeling of positivity when you’re around someone happy and enthusiastic about life? It feels great and it makes you want to be around that person more. They put a smile on your face and lights up your day. Yay! :)

Alternately, have you ever noticed the feeling of negativity when you’re around someone depressed and who blames everything and everyone for their unhappiness but themselves? It doesn’t feel so good, does it?

We, as people, were meant to be happy, healthy, social creatures. That is why we feed off of each other’s energies, positive or negative.

Committing yourself less (or not at all, preferably) to those vampires in your life will free you to be with those who are sunny and optimistic.

If you’re a vampire yourself, realize the harm you are doing to others, and most importantly, to yourself. You deserve to be happy too. Free yourself of the negativity by focusing on the positives in life. There are abundant blessings and miracles in this world, despite all the tragedies we hear about and face. Acknowledging you cannot change the events of the world but you can change yourself, is a huge step forward indeed.

A Martial Arts Case Study

I love the martial arts. There’s the intense focus, discipline, determination, and balance that is inherent in every martial art form, from Karate to Wing Chun.

As an avid martial artist, I’m eager to learn new things, new forms, new ways of thinking and doing things. It’s challenging and provokes my inner curiosity, pushing me to my limits to do what I thought I couldn’t do. I didn’t realize when I started taking karate classes 4 years ago that I’d end up to be a Black belt and compete in national and international competitions. Who knew? I certainly didn’t!

Now that I know the fundamental basics of fighting empty-handed, I wanted to learn how to fight with weapons. So I started a traditional Japanese weapons class in July.

Two weeks later, I quit.

Does that mean I have a lack of commitment? A lack of drive? No focus? That I bounce around everywhere, never fully committing myself to anything?

No. It just simply means right now in my life, despite my interest in weaponry, I need to focus on what is most important to me: Writing, Art, Reading, and Karate.

The time and place for pursuing additional endeavors will come soon enough. But learning how to commit to less helps me become much better at what I actually do commit to.

Commit to Less

Committing to less means what you do commit to, you can give so much more energy, effort, attention, and care to.

It’s a simple joy that is ours if we so choose. Will you choose to commit to less so you can experience more simple joys in life? I hope you do.

Thank you for reading and if you enjoyed this post, please feel free to share with others and your tribe! You can also stay updated by subscribing to the and following me on and . Be well, my friends!

  • Jerome

    Cool post! Personally I feel number 5 is very important to focus on, because it can easily set the tone for the other 4. I would say fear of lonliness is a factor that keeps the vampires around, and with all the negativity in the environment, one would turn to outlets such as social media and blogs as an escape.

  • Nina | Castles in the Air

    Absolutely! Fear of loneliness, fear of the uncertain (life is uncertain so does that make it fear of life?), fear of failure. Lots of fears to be had.

    So unless we learn to deal with them, we may handle it in a not so healthy way, such as over-eating, hanging around vampires, focusing on the negatives in life, complaining, hoarding, etc.

  • The Living Space

    I agree on all points!

  •,ekonomia/pozyczka,na,dowod,s,5249/ Michale Frishkorn

    Your article is very informative and coherent. I’m happy that I stumbled upon your page and hope to find more articles of such caliber on this site in the future.

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