When man bothers to critically study himself as the primary subject matter in life, there will inevitably occur a natural progression of self-evolution. Whether that self-evolution is towards a path of self-englightenment or self-destruction, that can only be determined by man’s course in life.

And when man chooses not to intervene in his own life’s cause, such as you will notice those who let fate take its own course, there is much to be debated about such theories.

Do we leave life as is and let it play out, like fate would have it, and merely watch it pass by as a passive observer?

Or do we examine ourselves often, and attempt to correct our own spirit’s course when something is remiss, in the pursuit of better understanding the one person that totally confounds us? That person being ourselves?

And why would a person naturally evolve?

Much like our skin shows wrinkles and starts to sag as we age in physical years, our minds will also ‘show’ wrinkles and start to sag. That is, unless we tend to our mental healths as often, if not more often, than our physical image.

Society rewards youth and youthfulness.

The younger the actor or actress is, the better chances of his/her success in Hollywood. The younger the model is, the better his/her chance of becoming the face that is sprinkled across major advertisements and department stores. The younger a student graduates from university, the faster s/he can land a solid job and get to work straight away.

We all seem to want youth as well, no matter what age we are or where we come from.

Middle-aged men and women hurry to the counters of Lancome, Shiseido, Clinique, and other name brands, in order to scoop up the latest finds in anti-aging skin treatments and creams. Hell, even those in their 20s and younger use anti-aging creams in order to maximize their youth, or so as they have been trained to think.

Skin whitening creams are rampant in the Far East, as lighter and fairer skin represents beauty, high class, and youthfulness in that part of the world.

But we forget that the more we focus on external appearances, the less we have room for what truly ought to matter.

We’ve all heard it at one point or another: the inside is what counts; that is what matters more.

So when it comes to self-evolution, I am not referring here to our physical bodies. What concerns me much more is our internal spirits.

Self-evolution plays a critical role in us fully comprehending this universal principle, and not just understanding it logically, but embracing it as our own personal agenda.

Self-evolution has 3 distinct stages: Realization, Change, and Growth.

Stage 1. The Realization.

Change is painful at times and we shun it like the plague. Even changing your cubicle to another aisle can warrant weeks of complaining and disagreements.

Do we not see why when it comes to matters of the heart and of our lives it is even more difficult? Complaining is no longer limited to just a couple of weeks, it is now years or even lifetimes.

We have to realize that every day we wake to see another sun rise, is another day to better ourselves.

But know this: perfection is not what we are aiming for. Self-realization is.

The flaws of humanity will always be ingrained in us as deeply as the lines show in the palms of our hands. It will not go away, no matter how many times you close your palm and turn it away from you. The fact of the matter is, the lines are still there and it’s a part of your physical make up.

Knowing this, and knowing our limitations, helps us to realize that we can be better people.

We can start to correct course if we have been so out of tune with ourselves we do not even recognize the person in the mirror. We can begin to make amends with those whom we’ve hurt or harshly neglected. We can begin to take steps in realizing our long forgotten dreams.

Now that realization has been met, change can begin.

Stage 2. The Change.

Without the cocoon, the butterfly will cease to exist.

Without the microscopic tearing of the muscles, becoming stronger will not be possible.

Without the will to learn, growth will not occur.

The process of change can be a treacherous road of rocky conditions, one in which you may feel terribly bumpy, endure stomach pains and complain that this must stop. And stop now!

An example.

I recently biked 62 km under the scorching Laos heat in uneven, rocky paths with a cheap bicycle that had no changing gears, making an already difficult ride even more difficult. Did I want to give up and pass out, especially during the many inclines? Absolutely. But I knew I had to get to my location (cave trekking) lest be stuck out far along the Mekong River by my lonesome. And no one is there to save me but myself. So, knowing that, I continued on.

I kept my end destination in mind but at the same time, did not forget where I was at that particular moment. Rambling and complaining how I need to find those caves will have me forget that only by the sheer act of pedaling will I get there.

Likewise with change.

You needn’t worry too much about the end destination that you forget all about your present moment. And those moments, the moments where you are changing the most, are the ones which shape you into the beautiful person you were meant to be.

Stage 3. The Growth.

When one grows one’s mind, it is being expanded beyond previous notions of comprehensions and understandings.

The past can help us learn from our mistakes, but it is not until the present where we can actually do something about it.

How I grow will almost certainly differ than how you will grow. I personally grow as an individual daily by:

1. Reading
2. Being of the world
3. Self-reflection

Perhaps you will find this applicable in your life as well.

1. Reading

It is no mystery that I read voraciously because I absolutely adore books and the worlds with which they take me in. But it’s not just adventure, science fiction, or mystery books that entertains my mind. Rather, I read plenty of non-fiction, ranging from a myriad of topics and concerns.

Merely plowing through the pages of books does not facilitate growth, however.

It’s the incredible change, the self-reflection, the habits of thought and curiousity that transforms books from the seemingly dead and lifeless binded packet of thin papers with fading black ink within to the powerful, world-changing vehicle that it truly is.

2. Being of the world

As I travel the world, it is not hotels or nice suites in which I stay in, then take a pleasant, air-conditioned tour bus ride to a pre-determined full day’s excursion that constitutes a person being proud to say they’ve been to X amount of countries by the number of stamps in his passport.

I was never aiming at the number of stamps in my passport and could care less. What I care about is not just seeing the world, but allowing the world to show me for who I really am.

Only when we find ourselves in uncomfortable situations — and compound that with an unfamiliar language and culture with customs unlike ours at home — do more and more of our true selves show.

Do we finally crack on the 12th hour of a frigidly cold hard seat overnight train, packed to the max with chain smokers all around an enclosed cabin?

Do we finally crack on the 7th hour of not sitting, not standing, but squatting, on a mini bus three times filled to capacity as passengers literally hang out the windows while crossing the border?

Do we finally crack when all of one’s money was stolen after one’s backpack had been ransacked?

[All of the above situations having just occurred recently in my life.]

Do we? Or do we not?

I’m not saying that because I have a higher tolerance for uncomfortable situations that I am indeed better than others. I have my breaking point, as you do too. The time will come when we all crack, and when we do, that is when the world shows you for who you really are.

3. Self-reflection

Humanity has shown me much already, yet I know there is still much more to learn and see.

While there’s a place and time for all of that, there is also the need to go away and be in quiet solitude as we contemplate what we are doing with our lives and whether any of what we are doing is adding meaning to it.

I wrote extensively on Selective Participation (SP) and how that plays a vital role in choosing what we want to be a part of and what we don’t.

Self-reflection and selective participation go hand in hand. For only when we reflect upon what our heart’s endeavors are, can we choose to selectively participate in them.

That is your highest responsibility here on Earth. You need to attend to yourself first and foremost. Self-evolution is not possible without it.

**

Realization –> Change –> Growth

These 3 stages of self-evolution are necessary for you to understand as you embark on a personal journey of your own taking. You are the captain, you are the crew. And only you are responsible for your life.

Though death, in the end, will visit us all, we do have quite a lot of say in how we live our lives up until that point.

Like Jules Verne’s character Captain Nemo states in the book Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea, “The earth does not want new continents, but new men.”

Will you self-evolve and grow?

Only you can answer that, and thus, begin the start of the new you or end it all with the decision to not take responsibility for yourself.

The decision is yours.