Individual liberation helps us to help others.

The lifeguard cannot help someone who is drowning if he himself is under water. He must be free of hands and able to breathe if he is to save the life of another.

And so it is with individual liberation. Abandoning expectations, passing secondary pursuits and a life filled with ought to’s and should’s, we come to a place of complete self-honesty.

When the warrior is self-aware and confident, she can then meet others face-to-face, eye-to-eye, heart-to-heart.

When the warrior is unaware or fearful, she cannot meet others at that heart level. To the degree that she knows herself, she can then confidently be present with others. Other people no longer trigger confusion, insecurities or worthlessness.

What some people say of us will, at times, hurt us deeply. It hurts because we cling onto these words. We cling onto the love we think we should receive from others. We cling onto the praise, rather than let criticisms be our teacher.

Rather than cling, can we learn to release? Rather than revenge, can we forgive? Rather than palms closed, can we have palms opened?

Pema Chödrön writes in When Things Fall Apart, “When something is precious, instead of holding it tightly, we can open our hands and share it. We can give it all away. We can share the wealth of this unfathomable human experience.”

In 1995, three days after I turned 11, my uncle and I caught a half dozen baby bunnies in his front yard. I felt giddy with joy, elated at having these tiny critters in the palms of my hands.

But something caught my eye. I noticed the mother rabbit never left the front yard, keeping her steady gaze fixed at the cardboard box in which the baby bunnies were being held captive. She hopped back and forth, wanting to get close and have her litter back.

After about 10 minutes, my uncle and I decided to release these bunnies back into the world, where they belonged with their mother.

It was then I learned a very important life lesson: when I hold on tight, I am causing more pain to myself, to others and to the world, than if I had let my grip soften.

When I look up in the sky, I see various birds take flight. I pause to stop and watch, and in doing so, they teach me yet another important life lesson.

The bird may freely fly into the open palm as well as leave at any time. If we clench our palms together, the bird is no longer free and becomes our prisoner.

What good is it for us to have a bird that is no longer free and happy?

If birds represent individual freedom, why do we close our palms to them — and to one another?