A little part of us dies each time we hold onto something a tad bit too long.

A relationship.
A person.
A job.
A title.
A location.
A home.
A brand.
A feeling.
A diet.
A gadget.
A tool.
A website.
A status symbol.
A sport.
A practice.
A plan.
A memento.
A photo.
A memory.

Each of these things in and of themselves are not inherently negative things. It is the association we attribute to each thing / relationship / brand / plan / status symbol that can become detrimental if held onto for longer than necessary.

The moment you no longer need said thing in your life, you need to let go and move on.

You move on with your life — your utterly short but very precious life here on Earth — when you realize some of the following. Don’t wait to realize all of the following and then change. Even one realization is enough reason to move on. Just one.

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You are no longer challenged to be a better person.

When you have reached your peak and have thus outgrown a particular thing in your life, you may need to move on if it no longer challenges you to be a better person.

For instance, say you are a pharmaceutical rep / salesperson and have been in your current position for the past 4 years. The first year, it was pretty challenging, learning all the various pharmaceutical products, trends, history, companies, how to sell, how to develop relationships with your customers, closing the sale, et cetera. You felt the job was difficult enough to prove stimulating in the areas which you were not adept at.

By the second year, you have developed better relationships with your customers and colleagues. You know the system, you know your materials, you know how to sell and you are selling well.

By the third year, you’re starting to get bored. It is the same ‘ol routine, day after day. You put on your suit, grab your briefcase, smartphone and laptop, head out the door with your traveler’s mug of coffee in hand, products and brochures in the other, and hit the road. Life goes on auto-pilot, a series of monotonous activities that are so routine that you don’t even know how you got home by day’s end.

By the fourth year, you’ve gained a significant amount of weight, your hair is receding, your mind is wacked out, and tired bags lay sagging under your eyes. Sure, you’re making money, but you are no longer challenged (nor healthy in body-mind-spirit). You have been, for quite some time now, living for the weekend only, no longer living each new day because you are excited for the day to come. You dread your days (like ‘killing’ time) and fall into a slow depression, not noticeable at first, but which tears at your heart just a small sliver each day you continue on this path.

You are no longer challenged to be a better person at this job. Which means, you need to move on.

I can give you an example in my life, as it pertains to sports.

For the past 5 years, I’ve trained competitively, obsessively, loyally and diligently in Karate. This is not news to you, if you have been reading Castles in the Air for some time now. I ended my formal training December 2010 for a few reasons:

1. It was no longer refreshing for me to train. (read: no longer a challenge)
2. My body was tired and beat up.
3. And so was my mind.

I needed a more calming practice in my life. My curiosity in Yoga began in 2009, with my very first vinyasa flow class at the local park district. Headstands galore, I was like, ‘Say what?’ But now? Bring on the sirsasanas, baby.

Yoga is challenging for me. I feel at peace, grounded, a deeper sense of who I am, whenever I practice, which is quite often nowadays. And if Yoga no longer becomes challenging in the future? I shall find something else.

That is how you know when to move on. When you don’t feel yourself growing as a better person, find what will help you grow.

You feel angry / moody / depressed / gloomy.

If a certain person in your life is making you feel more negative than positive, more cynical than open, more of a worse person than the day before, you need to let this person go, for your sake and probably his/her’s too.

There is absolutely no reason why you cannot let this person go. Even if it’s the closest person ever, even if it’s a person whom you love so very much.

I once fell deeply and insanely in love and I would — and did — do everything possible for this person. But when I felt myself being cut down deliberately and with malice on a daily basis, accusations / rage / jealously a constant revolving door, lies, deceit and mistrust abounding, it was absolutely necessary for me to let my partner go.

I thought I would marry him. I thought I would be with him forever.

But feelings can change. Because people change. This is as inevitable as the fact that we’re all going to die. You cannot stop it; you can only accept it and live your life to the fullest, by moving on when it’s time to let go.

You become mindless.

Let’s talk technology (and habits) for a moment.

There is a certain thing that some (many) people do that actually ticks me off quite a bit, though I won’t say so to the person nor let off any clues, out of respect for where this person’s relationship with technology is in his/her life.

It is when in the middle of a lovely conversation, a meal, or a coffee, I am looking intently into this person’s eyes while listening, that her eyes start to wander off towards her phone sitting on the table. Even worse, she fiddles around with said device, checking email/texts/tweets/Facebook messages/voicemail/news, while simultaneously trying to listen/talk in a face-to-face conversation.

And that’s also the thing. Why is the phone on the table? Why is the phone even out and about? Unless there is an expected call, why is the phone along for the ride? Replace phone with any other distraction: blaring, flat screen TVs in the bars / restaurants, other people and their conversations, advertisements blinking outside, et cetera.

When you are with a person, truly be with the person. Respect them and your time together. Half-assing things won’t deepen a relationship and you’ll become more mindless than when you first started.

Don’t be surprised if your friends start to move on, leaving you behind, if checking your device is all you care about.

You become bored.

If a relationship, location, sport, website becomes boring to you, it’s okay to move on. Initially, you may have had some obligation (or interest) to said thing in your life, but no longer. Grant yourself permission to move on (don’t ask others for permission). Then do it.

You harbor fear / guilt.

This is very true for tangible possessions. Especially possessions that were handed down from generations past or were given as a gift from a loved one.

You have no use for said item yet you fear giving it away, letting it go. Don’t. It is not the person you are giving up; it is the thing.

Though I completely understand that certain memories and sentimentalities are associated with particular items, knowing the relationship you have with this person you love will not crumble if a thing is tossed out is one of the more grounded securities you can ever have in this relationship.

Fear and guilt is never reason enough to keep things lying around the home. And this is what minimalism is all about.

You are not inspired.

If your current dwelling has lost its shiny allure after years of living in the same space in the same city in the same country, you need to move on.

You …

• apply minimalism into your life, getting rid of all the nonessentials (you already have way too many things, seriously. Act as if your house is burning down and you could only take 1 bag of essentials. Make that what you live from.)
• sell your furniture / things / car(s) / home(s)
• automate your banking, finances, bills
• get a job transfer if you work for someone else or quit OR if you already work for yourself, make it a no-overhead business that is location-independent (may not apply if you are a brick-and-mortar business owner but lay out all your options first before deciding on what is best for you)
• take whatever money you have
• move to a new place that inspires you
• live life fully and presently with a beautiful smile on your radiant face

Move. Don’t be scared you won’t make any friends, you’ll lose touch with your relatives, your career may suffer, you’ll feel lonely and anxious starting off in a new place. Yes, all of these things may happen but the benefits of an inspired life far outweighs one that is lived at half-steam. And since it is you making the decision, you have all the power.

Why wouldn’t you be happy if you were living in Italy if that’s where you had wanted to go all along? You’ll find stellar food there (yum!), make loads of boisterous, hearty friends (ciao!), and your eyes will be wowed each time you step outside your new home (mamma mia!). For — behold! — this is Italy!

Life is grand when you take on new and exciting adventures on your own behalf. Trust in that and be not afraid.

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Some folks have moved on from their blogs, preferring to live life not fussing over publishing a new post every 3 days.

Some folks have quit their jobs after they realized it was not good for them and they needed to do this in order to move on.

Some folks have let a relationship go to ashes after realizing the other person was a leech / a cheat / a terrible person.

Some folks have moved on from dieting all the time to just adopting a simple principle for health and wellness: eat less, move more.

Some folks have stopped delaying moving to the city/country of their dreams, preferring not to wait until retirement to enjoy the fruits of their labor and enjoying life now instead.

Whatever it is that you need to move on from, you can absolutely do it. There is no need to explain yourself. Simply move on with your life, for life is but a mere brief blink of an eye.