There is this wonderful page in Jack Keroauc’s book You’re A Genius All the Time that has the words ‘Accept loss forever’ cleverly situated beside a circle that is not quite complete. Take a look at the picture in this post.

Beautiful.

Let’s meditate on these words for a moment: Accept loss forever.

For most, this is hard to actually do. The mediation part as well as the accept loss forever part.

For a few people, they truly understand what this means and embody it to the fullest.

Loss is not loss when you look at the situation/event/circumstance as that this is just a part of the world. A part of human nature. A part of life itself.

Illness in the family? A terrible tragedy? A horrible accident? A cruel twist of fate?

This is not loss when seen with a pair of eyes that reflect wisdom of the ages.

Loss has been with us since the beginning of our kind. We lose each other, quite literally and metaphorically, all the time.

Rather than say, ‘By God, I’ve lost him! I shall never get him back ever again! Woe is me!’ let us say instead, ‘He has returned to where he came from. He was never mine to begin with.’

This way of looking at life events can be very much applied to your possessions, as well as the events that happen at your workplace, home life, school, etc.

‘I’ve lost my phone, ack!’ becomes ‘The phone is now gone.’

‘Someone stole all my money, shit!’ becomes ‘The money is now gone.’

‘I ripped my sweater, dammit!’ becomes ‘The sweater is now gone.’

‘I’ve missed my plane, argh!’ becomes ‘The plane is now gone.’

I understand you’re not going to say this all the time, every time. It not only sounds a bit strange, but you probably will feel uncomfortable speaking like an ancient Greek philosopher (Epictetus, anyone?). Albeit odd to say, it can be a good habit to cultivate, especially in the mind of the individual.

One must let go in order to move on. There is no latter without the former.

Much like you can’t have the sunset if you don’t have the sunrise, letting go does not come without accepting loss.

Letting Go <--> Accepting Loss

Let go, accept loss.

Accept loss, let go.

It is a pair. It is a partnership. It is a relationship. It is a determined bond, unbreakable by nature, but oftentimes broken by the human act (and lack thereof).

Have you lost close friends recently? A relative or parent? A pet? A job? A home? A wallet?

Here is a shocking revelation that may offend some people: Your close friends, relatives, parents, pets, jobs, homes and wallets were never truly yours to begin with.

Do you understand this?

We are born into this world with nothing and we shall depart this world with nothing (tangible). Everything in between is accumulation of physical things, memories, experiences.

Things are never a priority. Never.

Your scratched car will not cry out at you, begging you for shelter, food, comfort, love, freedom, truth. Your bent eyeglasses will not drop down on its knees and whimper at dreams unlived, hopes disappearing beyond the fading horizon. Your home will never wrap your small and broken body in its warm and tender embrace, soothing your raw emotions, wiping away your salty teardrops from your face.

Memories and experiences matter. Though we may forget, especially as we age, they are still a part of us. Forgetting because of poor or deteriorating memory does not take away the fact that you still had memories, you still had experiences, you were still a human being, alive, loved and well.

People cannot be owned. Yes, in times of slavery past and present, people own people. Horrible. I cannot stomach this and loathe the natural gift of independence and freedom being aggressively and viciously stripped away with unforgiving force from one person to another, one country to another, one continent to another.

But as it pertains to non-slavery, people still try and own other people, thus in effect, simulating slavery in less aggressive or noticeable methods. Through bribery, through coercion, through extortion, through manipulation, through lying, through elitist-cism, through external merits, through gatekeepers, through private clubs and membership-only organizations, through economic status, through workplace titles.

Whatever the case may be, you can only control yourself. You are hard enough to control as is, if you’ve ever had a hard time wrapping your head around your own crazy thoughts and ideas.

It’s terribly difficult, right?

Now try controlling someone else. It’s not fun, it’s extremely excruciating (for both you and the person you are trying to control), and for good reason too. People aren’t meant to be controlled, to be owned, to be dominated.

Loss of control is never a good feeling, for it is unnatural for most.

But step around the safety perimeters, onto the ledge, look above you, in front of you, below you, and let go of all control, and you’ll realize, the act of letting go, though difficult at the very beginning, is quite freeing and liberating once you do it.

On Friday, June 3, I jumped 13,000 feet out of a plane overlooking the beautiful plains and mountains in Portland, Oregon. The sky was clear, the day beautiful.

The following Monday, June 6, I jumped 20 stories off the highest bungee bridge in North America, in Amboy, Washington. The forest greenery was breathtaking, the calm river beneath serene.

It wasn’t just me who had a death wish or who wanted to start our own Suicide Club. Dozens of other individuals from all over the world gathered to partake in one of the ultimate physical and mental acts of letting go and accepting loss (of control).

Let go of the controls for once. You don’t need to drive all the time.

One must let go of what you believe to be safe, what you believe to have worked all your life, what you believe to have been the answer to all your woes, all your troubles, all your questions.

Accept loss forever. Some things were never yours to begin with.