This post is inspired by Steve Kamb’s How to Live Like James Bond For a Weekend.

I met Steve in Portland this June. What he didn’t know about me was that I was his real arch nemesis, not Joel Runyon, as he purports. :)

From the countless times I’ve played (and beaten) N64′s GoldenEye 007 and PS2′s 007 Agent Under Fire, to practicing martial arts so I can dominate any and all threats, to dressing to kill and staying cool under pressure, to acclimatizing myself in all sorts of conditions, languages and cultures included, I’ve realized something about myself: I’m a super agent, the female James Bond.

Now, not to get ahead of myself, I embody many flaws, like all of us have.

I can be quite ornery at times. I can be pretentious if I’m not mindful of my actions and speech patterns. I can be deemed as incredibly selfish, for I am most concerned with the self.

But what I lack in those areas, I make up for it in being awesomely Bond-like.

I love to constantly learn, to self-evolve. Bond does too.

I love to be ready at all times, to kick ass if the situation calls for it. Bond does too.

I love to be surrounded by beautiful women. Bond does too.

Now, ladies and gentlemen, take this entire post with a grain of salt. If you actually do kill someone with a Wolfram P2K when a gambling operation goes awry, I take no responsibility!

Now, why geared towards the ladies?

A few reasons:

1. I myself am a female. I speak from experience.
2. Because there are enough posts out there for the men to be like James Bond. Why can’t there be one for women?
3. I love inspiring others through my life and words. And being a woman, many of our experiences will differ substantially from men. This post shall empower you.

Ready? Let’s do it!

Here are a few ways you can be the female James Bond:

1. Know how to take someone down.

I asked a few of my female friends to show me their best punch, like they really mean it.

At best, it makes contact with me, landing semi-softly. At worst, it totally flops and comes at me from a mile away.

Girl, Chow Yun-Fat it up and crouch your tiger, hide your dragon! Zhang Ziyi can do it, why can’t you?

You can take someone down by first being aware of your surroundings. Bond always knows what’s going on, even if he seems to be wrapped up with the million dollar poker game he’s in or the seductively gorgeous woman laying on top of him. Yes, he is ninja like that.

Second, start training. Start training in martial arts or boxing. Take Kung Fu, take Karate, take Ninjitsu, take Jeet Kune Do, take Wing Chun, take Tae Kwon Do, take Muay Thai, take Judo. Watch Bloodsport, Fist of Legend, Rocky, The Karate Kid, Enter the Dragon or Ip Man if you need to get seriously pumped up.

Once you have a good foundation in one style of martial arts, you can really build up from there.

Take that from a Black belt in Shotokan Karate. Next time you see me, I’m serious, show me your best punch.

Karate means the way of the empty hand. Your best weapon is your body. No metal detector will ever find a weapon on you, for you ARE the weapon. Don’t you just love how that works?

The benefit of building a solid foundation empty-handed is that once you add in an actual weapon, be it knife, staff, nunchuck or gun, you are terrifyingly indestructible. Talk about being the Bond girl that can kill, stunning looks included.

Third, confidence is key. Bond is confident, he knows himself and what he is capable of (which is a lot) but he isn’t overly pretentious about it. That will draw unwanted attention to him and sometimes, he can’t be having that.

Remain poised under heated situations, be confident that you are ready to kick some ass if need be.

2. Know your languages.

This is always a good thing. The more languages you know, the more you can be ready for. Your places of travel are no longer as limiting, for you are your own language-hacking machine!

Want to learn Mandarin? It’s easy.

What about Spanish, Japanese, German, Italian, Vietnamese? If you want it, you can do it.

3. Shape-shift and be ready to blend in.

Shape-shifting is common in mythology, fairy tales, science fiction, video games and folklore. And while most of the time, we associate shape-shifting (as it applies to humans) as mythical, shape-shifting can — and does — occur quite frequently.

The thing is, we just don’t notice it (hence why it’s called shape-shifting!).

This is when one of two things happen:

1. The human voluntarily changes his/her shape to another entity, shape, form or person.
2. The human involuntarily changes his/her shape to another entity, shape, form or person caused usually by outside forces.

Bond shape-shifts when the situation requires him to.

Need to blend in as a waitress at a cocktail party? Toss aside your ruby red ball gown for the time being. Your operation requires you to be covert but as present as possible.

Practice your shape-shifting skills. Change your hairstyle. Change your make-up. Change the clothes you wear. Switch up the way you walk, how you move about the world.

And the next time a familiar friend sees you, notice if she remarks, “Something looks different about you but I just can’t quite put my finger on what it is …”

4. Never let anyone in on what you actually know and what they think you know.

Knowing how to fly an AH-64 Apache or Robinson R22 is one thing, but having other people know that you know how to fly helicopters is another.

You can download all the information you want like Neo does in The Matrix, but do other people have to know about this? And should they?

The answer is no. Not all weapons are exposed. Not all skills are mentioned. Not all secrets are told.

Bond doesn’t tell all. He leaves a little to mystery.

And as a lady, wouldn’t you want to leave a little to mystery, too?

5. Dress to kill.

Speaking of mystery … how about your dress?

Sure, an actual dress works because if you’re bad ass enough to knock someone down (see point #1) while wearing a full-length gown with high heels, girl, more power to you.

But for most of us, if we’re about to Karate chop someone in the throat and toss their limp bodies over the bridge, we would probably not want to do this in a tight dress and heels.

Time and place for everything.

While at a casino in a high-stakes game, dress to kill (i.e. black dress).

While free running on hovering planks in the middle of Madagascar, dress to kill (i.e. black pants and top, black sneakers).

6. Know your game and play it too.

Bond knows how to play. Cards, that is. Poker, Blackjack, Baccarat … he knows it all.

You needn’t know how to play every single card game, you just need to know how to play a few very well.

I once studied Blackjack intensively for an entire month. I taught myself how to play, when to stand, when to hit, when to double down, when to split, and if insurance is even necessary (it’s not). Objective: beat the dealer. On top of that, I studied the math behind counting cards and got pretty good at the entire system.

Did I start taking my bank roll to the casino and try my hand at my newly acquired skills soon after? You bet. I even dated a Blackjack dealer for a short while, just to better my game. It worked.

Being the female Bond is more fun than you think. ;)

7. Trust is earned, not expected.

First thought from Bond when meeting a new person, Can I trust this person?

Trust, therefore, is proved. It’s not automatic.

Like in Casino Royale, Le Chiffre says, “I’ll get the money. Tell them. I’ll get the money.”

What Mr. White says next tells us exactly what we need to know, “Money isn’t as valuable to our organization as knowing who to trust.”

Even a villain needs someone he can trust.

8. Have the courage to seize your opportunities and save the day.

Now, since you’re a woman, most of the time, men are “supposed” to save the day by saving you, right? It was always Prince Charming, never Princess Charming.

In the female James Bond world, the tides have turned, my friends. WE are the ones saving YOU. muah ha ha ha ha! (That wasn’t too evil, was it?)

When that golden opportunity is staring right into your pretty little face, take it! Don’t walk away to ponder about it. Take it!

Bond would take it. So should you.

You are your one-way ticket to every opportunity out there. Take it.

9. Know your technology and be ready to use them.

Bond can operate anything, anywhere and in any condition.

Tied up? Check.
Beaten? Check.
Under water? Check.
Poisoned? Check.

Know your technology because you’ll need them in your missions. M is a stickler and will not put up with shoddy work in any of her agents. The wrath of M is motivation enough to know what to use, when to use it.

Technology is everywhere.

You don’t need to learn how to use every single one but do keep this in mind: each technology is a tool.

You don’t need all tools to get the job done. Just select the right ones for the mission at hand. Leave the rest behind.

On the German autobahn and need to reach high speeds? Tell R to get you the Aston Martin DB5 (top speed of 143mph) outfitted with a CH-6 rocket launcher. Eat dust, evil doers.

10. Master the art of seduction.

We all know Bond seduces beautiful women, seemingly without any hassle or effort.

And as the female Bond, you’ll need to master the art of seduction, for both men and women. Straight girls, here me out here.

Humans are sexual and sensual beings. We respond to body language, eye contact, posture, scent. Men and women.

And in your mission, you do what needs to be done, without becoming hooker-like.

Think classy. Think sophisticated. Think Bond.

11. Be charming … but not too charming.

Got that killer personality? That dazzling smile? –> (Don’t let that sweet smile fool you. An assassin awaits underneath.)

Those curvaceous hips that sashay across the room, turning everyone’s heads as you walk on by, the remnants of your intoxicating perfume trailing behind you?

Be charming … but not too charming.

How’s that? How can you not be too charming, you say?

Not everyone will need you to sweep them off their feet and steal their hearts. Some people just want you to be real with them. So do just that! Be real.

You are Bond. You are real. And you are awesome.

Go get ‘em, girl. You only live twice.