Listen up, folks. I’m here to kick your bony, whiny ass. I’m not messing around here (nor any other times).

Beware of side effects, which will include one or more of the following:

1. Having a backbone
2. Doing whatever the hell you want
3. Enjoying every single minute of it

I don’t care if you’re not ready for this. We’re growing you a backbone and we’re doing it now.

**

You may have read many recycled and reused blog posts, book topics, news articles, magazine headlines, and so forth, that all say the same damn thing over and over again.

Or, it’s a repeat or spin-off of what someone else said 3 days ago, just with slightly different words on a different page with a different author. Slap a different picture that accompanies the article and voila! New post!

I understand sometimes our thinking is synced up with one another, whether that is a coincidence or a by-product of spending time with one another continuously, on Twitter, in person, on the phone, etc.

Us humans are social, sponge-like creatures. We soak up information left and right, inside and outside, just so we can formulate a decent comprehensive conclusion of whatever topic we are discussing.

But sometimes, people follow. And I’m not talking about on Twitter. I’m talking about following the masses, the general population. Even lifestyle design blogs, travel blogs, experimental or extreme lifestyle blogs, can all follow one another, as in, we write in circles around whatever topic is hot during that week.

So you’ll end up reading about how minimalism is supposedly ending from all the minimalist blogs out there (whether they agree with it or not). And you’ll read it a dozen times, all with slightly varying angles but which all center around one topic. A ‘me too’ approach, so to speak.

No thanks and not for me.

I write whatever I feel is important, not just to me personally, but what you will also find interesting, useful, entertaining, inspiring, heart-breaking or ass-kicking. At least, that’s my aim. And if you don’t like what you read here or my writing style, that’s fine.

I’m not here to please you. Like any decent drill seargent will kick his soldiers into tip-top shape, he can’t be all nice and buddy-buddy. This will not help his soldiers whatsoever.

Likewise, having a backbone that is one of your own means standing up for your own opinions, viewpoints and perspectives. But respectfully acknowledging that other opinions, viewpoints and perspectives exist outside your own.

So. Listen up and listen up carefully if you know what’s good for you.

**

How to Have a Backbone

1. Not taking shit from people who think they know more than you.

People will give you a hard time, always, whether or not you’re actually doing what’s best for you or not. No matter what ice cream flavor you select, there’s always someone chastising you and arrogantly commenting, “Hmphf. I would’ve chosen the Rocky Road, man. That’s the best flavor out there.”

What a douche.

With a raggedy wife-beater tank and ghetto trucker hat and all.

None of this shit. Don’t take it.

Stand up for your favorite flavor (i.e., opinions, viewpoints, perspectives) and be like, “Yo. Dude. Listen up. Who the F do you think you are, trying to tell me to have Rocky Road? I’m ALL about the Cookies n Cream. Now, back off, bitch.”

No fist fights needed at the ice cream shop here, but you get my drift.

2. Not necessarily following trends.

Have you heard of the Lap-Band? It’s incredibly popular and trendy in LA right now. I know this because the friend I traveled with for 3 weeks in Feb.-Mar. is from LA and told me about this new trend. And if you didn’t know already, LA is all about trends.

I say, if you don’t want a Lap-Band that sucks out all your fat so you look less like an Oompa Loompa, then don’t do it.

Following trends with your latest Bell & Ross $12,000 watch or whatever newest religion or movement is out there, can be self-destructive.

Because you never actually take the time to evaluate what YOU believe. And what you believe may be extremely different than what others (or the masses) believe.

3. Whining is annoying. Stop it.

Having a backbone means you actually are strong and independent enough to be on your own, to handle your own conflicts, to truck through life determined to overcome any struggles and barriers no matter what.

Whining accomplishes nothing.

Taking action does.

4. Ideas are cumulative. But being you is not.

Ideas are hardly, if ever, original. A brilliant idea someone may come up with today is a by-product of a lifetime of experiences, readings, research, education, lifestyle choices, media, family, etc. etc.

But being you?

It’s not necessarily the cumulative collection of the world’s greatest pleasures and tragic woes all manifested in your dynamic being.

You can do your own thing if you want. And the best part is, you don’t have to answer to anyone but yourself.

5. Comparison is for losers.

Benchmarking all the time is a passive aggressive addiction people say is ‘healthy competition.’

Bullshit.

Who cares? Grow a pair and while you’re at it, grow a backbone too.

I don’t compare my stats of this blog’s traffic, readership, subscribers, etc. to anyone else’s blog. As if that validates who I am as a writer, as an artist, as a creative. As ME. In fact, I rarely check my stats, if ever.

I don’t compare my numbers because we are all in a different place in our lives. What one person considers success is someone else’s failure.

9.8% body fat? Fantastic! But maybe not so if you are an elite, extreme body builder.

Sold 700,000 copies of your latest book? Wow! New York Times Bestseller!

What about the independent author that sold 700 copies? That is still a HUGE accomplishment. But compared to 700,000? Failure. Total, epic failure.

Comparison can make you feel like the biggest loser in life. It is that destructive.

Go at your own pace, whatever that may be, and live your life with no regrets.

Just go.