People are living their lives backwards.

It is not more money they need in order to have a happy life. It is not more time they need in order to reach enlightenment. It is not more resources they need in order to have meaning.

What they need is to own up, stop focusing on what doesn’t matter and identifying what does while vicariously pursuing it without hesitation.

I see folks with excellent work ethics, who work ever so hard, ever so long, at their jobs. But it’s not because of a pressing desire and passion for the job itself that makes them work so hard, so long. It’s due to irrational fear of the unknown. Fear of being let go. Fear of not having a steady flow of income to support their unnecessary lifestyle. Fear of ambiguity. Fear of something different, not of the norm.

So rather than channeling that same work ethic towards their life endeavors, they channel it towards some company’s endeavors. They help enrich the company’s mission but at the price of their own life mission.

Very few people actually honestly enjoy their jobs. You may be one of them, but most likely, you’re in the majority of disgruntled folks.

Much of your day-to-day focus is arbitrary. You may have focus but it’s due to habit, not of conscious desire and action.

Focus on waking up and getting to work on time. Habit.

Focus on opening your email and answering three dozen messages right when you sit down at your desk. Habit.

Focus on drinking cup after cup of crappy office coffee in order to even stay (barely) mentally able for your workday. Habit.

Focus on lunch at your desk, while staring at the computer screen reading this site. Habit.

Focus on your eyes averting to the clock on the wall, counting down to when you can leave. Habit.

Focus on coming back home after commuting, exhausted, sluggish, fat, unhealthy, depressed. Habit.

Focus on spending an hour or two on Facebook, Twitter, and any distracting social media tool. Habit.

Collapse. Inward defeat. Outward stress.

All of these, to be sure, are indeed focused activities. But the real question that cuts through all of the bullcrap is: are they activities that actually MATTER?

What matters to you?

Is it your family? Is it your closest friends, your circle of influence? Is it the sports channel? Is it shopping? Is it traveling? Is it cooking a delicious meal for others? Is it running?

What is it?

This is what matters to me right now:

Writing
Traveling
Evolving
Coffee

All of these go hand-in-hand. I oftentimes experience all 4 simultaneously, and actually, it is best when that happens for it serves to grow me as an individual.

Give me a freshly brewed cup of dark roast coffee, a beautiful notebook, pen and book, while sitting in a local cafe or bookstore somewhere in the world, and you will see me in the midst of my own personal evolution. I will change, not just mentally, but physically as well. See that picture to the right of this blog? I’m not aging, I’m getting younger. I cannot explain this phenomenon. All I know is I feel and am incredibly happy. It radiates from within and shows on the outside.

I’ve identified what matters in my life right now but it was not without sheer tenacity and compelling obsession for a deeply fulfilling life that I could have reached the point in which I am currently in.

Two ways to identify what matters in your life:

1. Strip away the arbitrary. Leave the extraordinary.

Take all your online profiles and count them with your fingers. Do they add up to more than 10?

They probably shouldn’t add up to more than 5. Ideally, it should be under 3.

What do you use online that is most beneficial to you? Is it solely Twitter? Then just keep that. Is it solely LinkedIn? Then keep that. Or is it Facebook FarmVille? Don’t keep that.

Stripping away the arbitrary means you don’t make room for the nonsensical, the time-wasters, the stupid stuff you do everyday but can’t figure out why.

Say out loud to yourself what you absolutely love to do.

Now what is holding you back from doing that lovely thing every single day of your waking life?

Dammit, we’re all going to die. Stop putting off your dreams. Act upon them today before your world goes completely black.

2. Adopt minimalism.

Minimalism should transcend above and beyond your physical possessions. And usually, for the minimalist practitioner, it does.

In 2008, I started off reading Leo’s blog, fascinated with his simple tips on living with less, being free because of it. Then, I devoured all of Elaine St. James’ simplicity books while sitting cross-legged on the carpet floor of Barnes & Noble. I went back to my apartment and put all my crap into big, brown shopping bags and placed them next to the garbage disposal.

But then I grabbed ahold of minimalism by the horns and ran off with it to become one of the most radical minimalists out there. I say that not to be braggadocios, but to make a point that minimalism evolved me, and I evolved minimalism as it should fit my life.

By nature, I am already extreme. My personality is not the oh-she-looks-like-a-good-Asian-girl-next-door-all-sweet-and-quiet-like. I don’t take no for an answer and I don’t listen to best practices. I experiment on my own, see what works best for me, then run with it like an insane person breaking out of the asylum.

Minimalism will help you if you let it help you.

Cut your expenses, sell your house/condo/property, sell your car, cook your own food, take public transportation or bike/walk, live out of a bag*.

* The live-out-of-a-bag part is only for those radical minimalists. If you can’t do it, then don’t. But give it a shot at the very least. You may find it quite liberating.

When you cut away all the excess junk in your life, you are left with a glaring truth. And the truth is: you never needed that much to begin with.

**

You may not listen to what I just described above and that’s fine. It’s your life. And like Oscar Wilde said, “In all matters of opinion, our adversaries are insane.” I sincerely hope I’m not your adversary nor am I insane. Well, the latter is debatable.