Mingled and intertwined thoughts dance inside my head as I stare deep into the dark, slumbering night on a plane headed to Taipei, Taiwan. I’m over 37,000 feet above the rest of civilization. It’s quiet in the semi-dense cabin, with sleeping passengers as my default neighbors for the next 15 hours of my life.

I think and go deep within myself, losing all track of time, place, destination and journey. Long days blend into even longer nights. Weekdays blend into weekends. Every day feels like a long-awaited Saturday. I wake and never know what time it is, what day it is, and once in a great while, what place I’m at.

And I love it. I love not knowing. I love not planning. I love the freeing feeling of raw ambiguity because it allows me to remain in a perpetual state of dynamic and intoxicating daydreams, lost in a blissful field of dancing bunnies doing carefree somersaults and cartwheels. And no, I’m not talking about drugs here. It is life I love and the love of the unknown.

For someone like me who loves to learn, you’d think I’d want to know where my life is headed towards. We do this by intricately planning our days, weeks, months and years, thereby ensuring not a single hour is wasted on ‘frivolous’ lounging, daydreaming or contemplative semi-conscious slumber. But by detailing our lives, our lives become yet another project to be completed, a vast series of never-ending boxes to check off, a complex rubix cube with methodical measures to get all our sides philosophically, physically, metaphysically, spiritually, emotionally, mentally and sexually aligned. We become our own kryptonite, fiercely distinguishing the explosive power within us that can transcend all physicality’s, restrictions and societal boundaries.

I am reminded of an encounter I had with a young, wide-eyed woman on the El train in Chicago, as I was riding it on the way home. It was 2 days before my last day at my corporate job, the one I fervently and boldly gave up to live the beautiful life I’ve always wanted. She asked what I did for a living and I told her I was quitting my job in 2 days’ time.

Leaning all the way forward, she spat out incredulously, “You what?! Do you know how hard it is to even get a job??”

And I said, “Actually, yes. That’s why I created my own opportunity and all the while opening myself to new ones every single day as I travel and meet new people all over the world.”

“Oh. Well then …” she leaned back and sat down again, confused but somehow satisfied with my answer.

Every day I meet folks who think what I do and how I live my life is either crazy or brilliant. Most are merely insatiably curious or envious.

This is nothing new. Many folks have done the same thing, are doing the same thing or are about to. It only looks different and extreme because it’s not what the masses do.

Though we may not represent the masses, we are not better than them either. I break. I cry. I hurt. And I mend. As do you. It’s just that I prefer to live life in a fashion that has a constant flow of ambiguous continuity, going from one lively experience to another.

That is why I have no idea where I will be 6 months from now. Will I still be living in Taipei, wandering the free markets and eating shaved ice with sweet red beans on top while conversing fluently with the locals? Will I be on some impromptu road trip with good friends across North America? Or will I be laughing hysterically and dancing hypnotically with gorgeous Latin American men and women in Brazil? I just don’t know. And I don’t want to.

This plane will touch down eventually. But my heart will still remain in the misty clouds, gently reminding me that by not seeing my destination nor journey, I am free to be in the present. And that is just absolutely beautiful to me.